Beyond Nipple Cream and Booties: The Real Essentials for New Parents
Preparing for a baby is an exhilarating blend of excitement, exhaustion, and a little fear. It's a journey where you go down a rabbit hole researching baby booties and nipple creams and then panic when you remember that your registry shouldn’t only have items that arrive in 2-days or less. Yes, you may need some items to feed the intense “nesting” feeling you may experience, but your registry should also have the real essentials.
Below are 11 things you will need after the initial flurry of visitors are gone and the new born glow wears off. This is also right around the time that you’ll realize you’ve worn the same leggings for three days in a row…
What’s more? You can use the Be Her Village as your registry to help ensure you get these items. We’re proud partners of Be Her Village and hope you find their service as great as we do.
1.Quick Eats
There will be moments that you need to eat and don't want to think about a grocery list or cooking. If you don't have the fuel you need to function, you won’t be able to take care of baby. This is especially true if you’re pumping or nursing. Ask a friend to set up a meal train or ask for gift cards to your favorite local spots. Stock up on your favorite snacks as well. Food = fuel.
2. Mental Health
Finding your new stride as parents isn't just about the physical aspects; it's crucial to care for your mental health too. Consider seeing a therapist, or even a couple's therapist, as you adjust to life with your new little one. This space allows for open discussion about any feelings of guilt (yes, it's common, no, you're not a bad parent for feeling it). Starting with a solid foundation in your relationship and having a space to talk freely provides you with tools that will be invaluable over the next 18+ years of parenting. If you can start BEFORE baby arrives so it becomes routine.
3. Babysitter
Whether you're comfortable leaving your baby with someone else, or the thought seems unimaginable, it's crucial for both you and your child to gradually adapt to time apart. Early exposure to others, even briefly, aids your baby's social development. You don’t need grand plans; a simple shopping trip alone or with your partner can be perfect. Use these opportunities to reconnect with yourself or as a couple and make a conscious effort to not constantly check the baby monitor (we mean it, turn off your notifications). Brief separations like these are healthy and beneficial for your family dynamic. Use a company like Care.com to find help near you.
4. A Safe Word or Phrase
There will be moments when there is literal s**t not hitting the fan per se, but ending up in places it shouldn’t be. During these times, your patience and sanity will be tested, and you'll find yourself needing either assistance or some space. Establishing a safe word or phrase with your partner can be a game-changer in these situations. It's a tool for quickly communicating your state of mind and needs without extensive explanation. For instance, using a phrase like 'I got this' signals to your partner that you're handling the situation and additional offers of help, though well-intentioned, might be more overwhelming than helpful. Whatever it is, set it and use it.
5. Planning for the Future
The second you tell people you’re expecting you likely got inundated with questions about where you plan to have the baby, what you’ll name them, how you’re decorating the nursery, etc. Ironically, the thing we often forget to obsessively plan and research is what would happen to our bundle of joy if we weren’t there to care for them. This is why term life insurance should be on your list. It’s something you can easily put off, but it’s one of the best things you can do for your family during one of the worst moment's of their life. Put it on your calendar and make it happen. Explore policies through PolicyGenius.
6. Protecting their Legacy
Just like life insurance, having a well-thought-out estate plan is essential. Without one, there are risks you might not have considered: your children could end up with a guardian you wouldn't have chosen, a significant portion of their inheritance could be lost to probate fees, and they might receive their entire inheritance at 18, potentially before they're ready to manage it responsibly. It's a common misconception that estate planning is only for the wealthy, but in reality it’s for anyone who cares. Don’t put it off, give yourself a deadline and stick to it. A well thought out estate plan is the greatest ever lasting gift you could give your family. Take an Estate Planning Quiz today.
7. Photo Sharing Plan
Prior to baby’s arrival, you should create and communicate your photo sharing policy with your friends and family. This helps prevent an over excited grandpa accidentally sharing a grainy and smushy photo of your baby without your consent. If you want a service that’s designed for sharing with only friends and family, try TinyBeans.
8. Shared Note
You might think you'll remember all the adorable things you baby does, but will you really? Don’t take the risk of forgetting those precious moments. Create a shared note with your partner, nanny, or family members. When baby does something noteworthy, jot it down. This way you can look back and laugh at little things, like them saying “lady down” instead of “lay down” or mixing up “bless you” with “basketball”.
9. Cleaning Service
While I know this may feel exorbitant if you’re accustomed to cleaning your own home, I can promise you that having someone clean your bathroom when you have spit up on you feels amazing. It’s also well worth not having all the cute clothes and toys people would buy for you with that money. If this sounds like it would be helpful for your sanity, tell people, don’t feel bad. More stuff isn’t necessarily the solution to a happy and healthy family, but a clean tub for a bath may be. Try finding someone locally in your community or try Merry Maids.
10. Doula
Imagine you read all the books in the world about how to fly a plane and you get into a cockpit as the co-pilot and the captain sits down and you ask how many times they’ve flown a plane and they say “zero.” Would you want to fly with them? Well, why do you think that your partner, parent, or friend is suitable to support you during your birthing journey if all they’ve done is read (maybe) about it? The doctor/midwife is there to focus on the baby. The doula is there to focus on you. OK, yes, it’s possible your birthing partner is an excellent choice, but if you’re looking for a trained captain that could land the plane with a door missing (yes, a recent female pilot that did this) get yourself a doula. Find one through Be Her Village or DoulaMatch.
11. College Savings Fund
Setting up a College Savings Fund, like a 529 plan, is an important step in planning for your child's future education. You can start with small contributions, which can grow over time thanks to compound interest, and even allow friends and family to contribute. This is a great tool around birthdays and the holidays, since it can help limit the amount of stuff you get all while supporting your child’s future. Starting early maximizes the potential for growth, helping secure your child’s educational future and opening doors to numerous opportunities. Learn more and find your state’s plan here
All in all, there are a lot more things to consider when preparing for a baby than just pumps, pampers, and strollers, so do yourself a favor and put together the baby registry that will fully support your journey into parenthood, not just look cute.
If you’re looking for an estate planning company, or guidance on how to choose your child’s guardian, then look no further than Legado.
Disclaimer: While this post primarily references traditional parenting partnerships, we wholeheartedly recognize and celebrate the diverse spectrum of individuals and families stepping into roles of parenthood or guardianship. Our insights and advice are intended to be inclusive and supportive of all family dynamics. We understand that every journey into parenthood is unique, and we're always here to answer any estate planning questions you may have, regardless of your family structure. Your experiences and perspectives are valued and respected here.
